Welcome home

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Have you been trying to figure out a why to it all and just humorously yet not so humorously been blaming it on astrology and other cosmic happenings?

Good, me too.

So here I am enjoying the cute October chills of Denver in this hip modern health-conscious cafe nestled in Union Square on Wewatta. Sleepy as fuck but running on the excitement of venturing off on yet another solo trip and the opportunity to explore new places. Ah yes, new. That word I tell you. Sounds so cool until the universe intervenes and summons you to "newness" against your own will. I know what you're thinking, if you're one of my more spiritual readers- we have full power over the way our external world exhibits itself both consciously and unconsciously so how can the universe possibly "intervene?" Well, I've come to understand that that power is like a full embodiment of the harmony that is given birth to when our conscious and subconscious decide to finally put their differences aside and get along, you know?

Here's the thing. When we rationally and mindfully recognize something and give it a label (whatever it may be), for as long as there is some deeper belief contrary to what is or what we intend for things to be, there is always going to be discord and hence the need for universal intervention to knock full-proof sense into us that we have just ignored one too many times. Guilty. Yours truly, the hopeless romantic, managed to survive yet another toxic relationship that I had deemed as a no-no (still remember my very words and my high-pitched humorous tone) from the get-go. But it hurts way less than the first time, and the more I connect the dots and redirect every speck of energy back to myself, I understand that there is something deeper I need to untie and understand- aka heal even deeper until my godforsaken unconscious subconscious meets the facts with conviction. And that is where the real alignment will happen. It sounds so simple, right? But fuck it is so hard, and it's a long, wholesome journey that isn't intended to lead us to a final destination because we're human and we have feelings and shit is always going to trigger something in us, but we learn through this self-devoted practice that these very same things just begin to hurt and trigger us less and less.

And it works because this one was like a better version of the other one. I'm joking but you know what I mean. The point here is that over time, the more we learn to love and hold and accept those broken and not so sexy parts of ourselves, the less painful and gut-wrenching life becomes. It's like we begin to adopt this "yeah, it hurts and I'm sad but I feel peaceful and I can continue to move on without this aspect of my life" type of mindset- at least that's what my personal experience has been like.

So here's to me and to you and especially to anyone trying to make sense of the "why?". Here's to anyone going through a breakup. Here's to anyone who's doing the work and who feels frustrated about all these endless universal lessons. Here's to continuing to show up for ourselves because we all know deep down inside that fighting against "what is" is going to lead absolutely nowhere.

P.S. in case you haven't noticed, this is my first official newsletter article and I'm very very happy to share it with you, sexy reader.

Love,

MS